It’s time for our second guest post (you can read about our previous guest blogger from august here).
Sarah from undeinepriseliebe is a mom living in Cologne with her two kids. On her blog she writes about the little things in life she likes and sometimes dislikes. Sounds maybe very cliché but t’s so nice to read.
Today she shares her dating experience as a former single mom. Mutti has a date: part 1 you can read in German on her blog.
“Mutti” has a date: part 2
The good thing about dating apps like Tinder is that you have two strings to one’s bow. It was at least the case in my two try outs. This can also be quite exhausting (you need to take care of these contacts, comparably to a Tamagotchi), but it shows benefits when the first date is a flop.
So, I tried to separate the wheat from the chaff. I rummaged through messages from pseudo-poetic and melancholic-philosophical to a no-content-conversation.
Bingo! There was the next date!
The messages were not very content loaded, but somehow nice. At least the conversation was leading to something since he wanted us to meet spontaneously for lunch.
I need to mention briefly that it seems normal in a man’s world to communicate via “Whats App” for weeks, then call on the phone and in the end just don’t want to meet. But that’s another topic.
So we met for lunch, which I thought was very nice. Firstly: it is a daylight date and not at night, therefore less scary. Secondly: the time limit is better defined.
Uncomplicated lunch. Perfect! I arrived at the meeting place, he was already there. Because this guy had sent numerous pictures of himself before (later I understood why), it was easy to recognise him.
First Bonus: the picture-reality was very close to the reality. A traffic light with a very long red light separated us from the “Hello, you’re probably…?”. So a fairly long time I stood there looking stressed and being ogled. Well, the first minus point. Zack!
Finally the light turned green, so that I could move out of this visual attraction position. After a “hello” and an obligatory kiss-kiss we sat down and the date could begin. Another plus: the guy smelled good.
Basically, it was a really nice lunch. We even had fun, I laughed hearty for two or three times. Everything else remained a bit stupid. He seemed somehow far more uncertain than his first appearance reflected. Nevertheless, we intended to plan a repeat.
“ByeBye” and kiss-kiss. The date was finished.
Then, an hour later, when I was on my way to the kindergarten, suddenly a WhatsApp message on my phone:
“Hmmm, you have great legs!”
Okay everybody likes a compliment every now and then. But somehow I did not like this clumsy way, especially since we had talked before more or less like pals.
Then another message:
“I wanted to kiss you.”
OK. Moment. Stop please. Our conversation was like “Oh, you know the comedy guy who lives indeed around the corner?” and “Yes, I also love to eat at this place.” There was nothing that seemed like flirting or something similar. It was rather entertaining and funny (in a stupid way).
I rather had to say from that point on “Nope, the lunch with you was quite nice, but nothing more, okay?”. At least this was what I thought and tried to make this clear to him in a very polite way.
We had some pointless conversations spread over several days. And somehow he managed that we agreed to meet once more. Again for lunch, again harmless. And again I was happy with this decision.
At this second date he told me that he changed jobs, he was no accountant anymore, but now a full-time photomodel. And he was also married before. Honestly, even today I’m almost 100% sure that he was still married when we were dating. Because we have always met only for lunch. And in the evening the WhatsApp-“conversation” stopped abruptly.
But since I was 100% sure that this guy was not the man of my life, I didn’t care about it and enjoyed another appointment that for sure would be quite entertaining.
Just like the first date it was fun and amusing. Again it remained a bit simple and stupid. And after our date numerous messages followed with numerous compliments.
Then there were two nights when I was hanging out with some friends. Our conversation continued with the typical “Well, how are you?” and “Everything okay?”. But then he asked me what I was planning for the weekend. Maybe we wanted to meet up spontaneously one of the nights?
To make a long story short, this never happened. And I still ask myself, what does a man want who meets a woman for a few times, makes her a bunch of compliments, keeps a conversation going on WhatsApp and in the end doesn’t have more then three nice lunches?
There were some situations where I tried to force a meeting in the evening without any luck. Even if it was not the man of my life, perhaps it was one which you can have fun with.
The theory with the existing wife was still actively in my head, but what is such a guy then looking for?
After some further meaningless-message-bombing, another clumsy compliment attack and a kiss attempt, I ended what had never begun.
His reaction: complete lack of understanding.
My reaction on his: also a complete lack of understanding. A good looking guy, but boring as a fluke.
Several months later, I got a sudden message again:
“Hey, how are you?” (Yes, he couldn’t come up with something more original.)
“Hey, not heard for a long time. Good, and you?”
“Are you happy?”
“Yes, just very.”
“So, you’re taken?”
“Are you loyal?”
“Sure, what a question!”
“Too bad, I was also looking for something solid.”
And then I just had to laugh