How our life changed with 2 kids.
Some people ask me, how life changed since M was born. (he is eight months now) Before M was born we just thought that we were already “experienced” and another kid would not change a lot. The day he was born we knew that this boy would change our lives in every sense.
becoming parents the first time…
Three (and a half) years ago when L was born, we became parents. All the mummies and daddy’s out there know that at this point there is definitely a change in life. You are no longer just a couple but parents. Means you have to care for a baby and you are responsible for it. We were lucky and L was a “beginner’s baby”: he slept at night, even when he was just a fews days old, he never was sick, he did not cry a lot and it was really easy to handle him (and it still is). We sometimes went out and L never had problems with sleeping at other places than home or with babysitters.
…and the second time
After Baby M’s birth, our focus was no longer on one kid. Within the first month we often had to split (well, of course we still have to) and one of us looked after L and the other one after M (which was of course mostly me since I had to nurse him). So what happened during the past month was that L is no longer that focussed on me (yes, he really was a mama-boy) and he started to make some adventures with his dad. This definitely brought them closer together than before. L is still a mama-boy, but also a daddy-boy now.
Further, our entire family life changed. There is another person in our life now and we all had to “adjust” on that new situation. The first days at home with Baby M therefore were a bit tiring and L was screaming a lot but after 2 or 3 days it started to get better. We are lucky that L is such an uncomplicated boy and that he was already almost three years when Baby M was born – I think at this age he already understood what’s going on. I would not say that every day was harmonious – there were ups and downs (and there still are) but we found our way of dealing with that new situation.
our daily challenges
The most challenging part of the day (I am alone most of the week and my husband is working abroad) was the bedtime. L was used to go to bed at seven and even Baby M turned out to be tired around seven. So it was not easy to find a way how to deal with that situation every evening. As soon as I found a suitable method for us the next day everything changed again due to different reasons. This was and still is the hardest time of the day and we still do not have an established routine that works every day.
Baby M’s birth also changed the relationship between my husband and me. Before M was born we had at least the evenings for us – L slept at seven and then we spent the rest of the evening together. Since M was born the evenings became shorter – our bedtime takes longer than before (even for L) and when the boys are sleeping we are tired as well. As mentioned before, we used to take some nights out and brought L to his grandparents or to my mum. That was always easy with L but isn’t that easy with two boys – at least our babysitters are not familiar with watching 2 small kids… 🙂
two boys ❤
Less me-time, long and hard evenings, almost no sports, sleepless nights, tired like hell, and addicted to coffee – that’s my new life! Even when considering all new issues that came up with our second kid, there are those beautiful moments that make me forget about all the stressful ones: When the two start playing together or when Baby M wants to climb on his brother and L really enjoys that, when I hug one of the boys the other one comes by and wants to cuddle with us, when I change the baby’s diapers and L helps, … those wonderful moments overweight all the stressful and powerless ones.
I am really looking forward to the time when the two boys start playing alone and we do not always have to be next to them when they play. I am sure, they will be good friends one time (of course I know that there will also be disputes between them) and they will be happy to have a brother their entire life. I love my boys and I love to see that every day they grow closer together.
What is your experience with your second child? Did it change your life a lot? I’d love to hear your stories!