When I found out that I was pregnant, I jumped for joy. I felt so blessed. After I told my husband I started to become a bit nervous. One of the questions that was popping directly up in my mind was “how will it al be?”.
The first change occurred when I was pregnant. Although my pregnancy went well, I was very sick and constantly tired the first months. The tiredness never got really away and meeting up with friends after work or late in the weekend wasn’t in it for me anymore. Instead I became a brunch and a coffee-time girl.
From the moment my son was born, nothing was ever the same again. The way you think, behave or feel,… everything is turned around the wellbeing of that little newborn. You are never done looking after him.
I also became very sensitive for the suffering in the world. Watching the news always ends in tears.
The biggest change might be the relationship with my husband. At once we became parents together and are not only lovers anymore.
Often my husband comes home from work with a lot of energy, happy to see his family. The only thing I’m thinking about on that moment is that he has to take over now, because I go for a shower and to bed afterwards. Days without make-up and baggy clothes became more a rule than an exception. Time for romance and intimacy is the last thing you are thinking about.
When I was pregnant I followed a lot of courses and workshops about breastfeeding and the first weeks with a baby. One of the courses they offer, which I didn’t attended, was “becoming parents, staying a couple”. I didn’t sign up for it because I thought “we don’t need that one, we are really good together”. But I must admit now that I regret the fact I didn’t go. It is quite a challenge to stay lovers and not only parents.
No worries, we are still very good together and love each other very much (maybe even more than before). We just needed to adapt to this new situation in our relationship of being parents. It feels like you have to work more actively on your relationship.
What we do now once in a while is having a date night at home. When our little boy is asleep, we order take out and make a candle light dinner out of it. Something little but so enjoyable.
Having a baby doesn’t mean all is rosy, but having children for sure is the most beautiful and precious gift in life. It’s just magnificent to raise and to teach a little human being into this world. Everyday I am grateful that I can be little O’s mom.
I spent the last ten years on going out, sleeping until noon afterwards, travelling, spending hours on shopping and make-up. So I have been there and done that. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss it sometimes, but now it’s time for a new phase in life which I actually like and enjoy very much!